i'm so damn tired...

Yeah, day two of law school and i'm already quite tired. This is not encouraging. i find myself making exactly the same promise i made myself for 4 years of undergrad:

"i'll catch up by _____, then it will all be down hill from there".

That's right, 4 years of the same lie. At least now i know it's a lie. . .

if that blonde chick can do it. . .

So, today is my first day of law school. 2 classes down, one to go. It doesn't seem too bad. It will be way more work than i ever thought about doing in undergrad but boo-hoo, what did i expect. The problem is this. i was on day 2 of orientation before it occurred to me to pray about being ready for it. "God, please help me to be ready for this." That's all i'm talking about here. Still i've only prayed about it like 2 or 3 times even after that realization. Some people are freaking out and praying daily about it. Sure i prayed a bunch in deciding to come here but not about being here.

I can only offer 2 explanations for this:

1) I just trust God that much.

2) I'm an arrogant bastard.

Survey says. . . . . . oh, sorry, arrogant bastard! Oh well.

Sadly, at one point in my life i was considering a prayer policy that basically involved trusting God to care for me and praying about other stuff. This could be a whole topic on its own so i'll leave it at that. i don't think that idea was too far off base though. The problem with the current situation is that i pray about/for myself all the time. i really want to believe some part of me subconsciously falls into category 1 and as a result my natural reaction is to not pray about it. Sadly, nothing else supports that hope.

The best part about this is that i really like it when God shows me what a moron i am. This is largely because 2 is so true. I need this from time to time. As sad as it is, though maybe because 1 is partly true (somewhere deep down), i almost prefer to learn this way. This as opposed to something more tangible like bad grades or something.