My mother-in-law characterizes her daughter (my wife) as one who “jumps in with both feet and deals with the consequences later.” After over four years of marriage, i can say there is some truth to that. This statement however, does not summarize her fully. My wife commits. When an issue or question arises she surmises, researches, considers and commits. The above quote catches only the last part; the commitment. It misses the earlier stages.
i, on the other hand him & haw and try to keep one leg on the fence as long as possible in case i have to jump back over. Together, we’re learning to balance this out but honestly, i’m stoked that my wife is a committer. Obviously this bodes well for our marriage but that’s not what i mean.
Left to my own devices, i would rarely make a decision and, when i did, i’d try to leave every door, window, and vent open so that i could jump out if i need to (note, this does not apply to our marriage, that one’s different). But, because i’m married to a committer we go through the process together. We look at doors 1, 2, and 3, weigh our options and decide together. My wife usually gets there first. Her early arrival is nice for me because i can, through her eyes, get a better picture of what being there is like. Also, because we make decisions together, if we disagree in the end, she’s not dead set against changing so, while she knows what she prefers, she remains flexible.
Generally we end up in the same place; i just get there more slowly. This is where the commitment part matters. If i had made the decision on my own, i would try to leave myself a way out. Because i married a committer, we’re pretty much settled once we decide (sure we can change if we have to but we generally don’t). i like this. There is a security in knowing a decision is made. Sure it means we have to face whatever comes from that decision but who knows what we would have faced behind door number 2. Things may be better but most likely things would have been worse. This gives me peace in the midst of the storm.
As my mother-in-law puts it, we must “deal with the consequences.” Well, nothing is ever perfect but “consequences” are not always bad. We deal with what comes based on a decision because we have made that decision. What we do not do is run to the window, climb back out and peek behind doors 2 and 3. i like that a lot.
In the end, what i’m learning is that the enemy comes bringing storms, wind, lightening, and anything he can must up but those things are always around and above us. They are never below us. Why. Because he knows that if we look down we’ll remember the truth. That we are, in fact, simply resting in the palm of God’s mighty hand and that there isn’t a damn thing he can do about it.
