And that really is the problem. i've noticed lately that at the end of any given day, i cannot say with much assurity what kind of day it was, or how well i did living it. i know it's over, but that's where certainty ends. Some days i get a great deal of things done, some days very little gets done. But, somehow, i feel like quantity accomplished is not the right measure. Somedays, the things i do are done very well; others not as well. Still, quality of the things done seems a poor, or at least incomplete, measure (though logically a step in the right direction).
It is possible some combination of these two answers the question. The obvious problem is the issue of the unknown. No matter how well any day has gone i can never know if it could have gone better. No matter how badly a day has gone i can never know if it could have been worse.
The point (part 1): i try to live in a way that will please the Lord and bring Him glory. That being the case, why is it that at the end of so many days, i have no idea if i've even come close to accomplishing that. Often, i could not tell you when i last gave God more than a passing thought.
The point (part 2): i try to be a good husband. At the end of every day, my wife still loves me. That is a good thing. But i cannot tell you that i was a good husband that day. She may say i was and in truth i may have been. There is just no way to know. There simply is no imperical measure or, if there is, it is unknown and therefore unhelpful.
The point (part 3): i try to be a good . . . (i think you see where this is going by now).
The uncertainty is not the core problem; the uncertainty is part of the problem. This is an important distinction. If i was simply bothered by uncertainty, i would not be so concerned with the asnwer to the question. The problem is that i want to glorify the Lord; i want to be a good husband. i'm just not sure how to know if i am or not.
p.s. as a general rule, if you think you may have spotted a musical reference in any of my posts (band name, song lyric/title, etc), assume it is a challenge. Bonus points, though technically non-existent, are available if you catch it.
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2 comments:
yeah I feel you 100, unfortunately. sometimes I wake up and think "oh yeah, there you are God...sorry I totally forgot about you...my bad." I also often think "how am I glorifying a God who is often absent in my mind 80% of the time?" to this I say...
I have no words of comfort. I also realize that it is quite possible that you weren't looking for any words of comfort. All this to say that I relate to this completely.
p.s. sorry no musical reference found. I am awarded no points and may God have mercy on my soul.
Thank you for relating. You are correct; i am not looking for words of comfort. i am looking for solutions. i'm not sure i expect to find any.
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